I can honestly admit that I probably have not gone through a lot of the torturous feelings other Queer Desis have gone through.
The pressures of the family.
The pressures of the community.
The pressures of what tradition teaches right and wrong.
The pressures of the almighty reputation.
A few weeks ago, I was watching a movie on TV called “Pink Ludoos”.
The movie revolves around a Punjabi-Canadian girl pregnant with triplets. Her mother overheard her (Gugan) talking to the father of her children, and confronts her about the situation.
The mother is forcing abortion on Gugan, and resultantly Gugan leaves home.
When Gugan was telling her sister about how she has the feeling that she wanted to change Indian culture to accommodate for her situation, it spoke a lot to me.
I feel that we are the generation to promote change.
Aren’t you tired of hearing the stories about Marriage of Convenience?
Can’t there be a way our generation can look past our tradition of judgements and reputation for each person to feel comfortable in their own environment?
It irks and disgruntles me to believe that people are living a lie.
I know their decisions to do so do not come out of vain, as they are protecting the people they love.
I just hope that we are able to end these unneeded pressures being inflicted from community to individual.
During Pride Week, I see the words of pride, the colours of hope, and that another year has ended where Queer people can live proud of who they are.
It’s like a Holi of sorts: only instead of coloured water, there are rainbows on flagpoles.
Instead of Indians in turbans dancing in Hindi movies, there are scantily-clad men in pink feather boas dancing on the streets.
When Pride festivals first started, it was very difficult to get the respect needed from our fellow human. Through time and consistent effort can we be out and proud in our communities. The same can go for the South Asian community. Change isn’t easy. It will take our strength to really be ourselves, and even the individual can change an opinion about the face of sexual minorities everywhere. I know through my truth, being myself, a Queer South Asian male; I can instigate change amongst conservative opinion.
I would like to wish everyone who reads this entry a Happy Pride.
I would like to wish you a good year to find your truth, and to find strength within that truth.
I would also like to instil the ideology that as being who you are, you can instigate change.
Change within your family’s thinking.
Change within your social groups’ ideologies.
Change within your greater community.
Change within yourself.
Change isn’t easy.
But change has to start somewhere.