The Square Root of Three

by David Feinberg
as presented in the movie Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

I'm sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that's good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I'll never see the sun , as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What's this I see?
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the waves of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed.